by mick » Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:27 pm
The bad
1. Martin “Bloody Knobface Pillock” Tyler. Andy Gray seems determined to undo the damage from the bilge he spoke at the Carling Cup Final and was closer to his old best tonight. The shocker is that whilst the able, interesting, passionate and unbiased Alan Parry and Rob Hawthorne were despatched to Anfield and Ewood Park respectively, this utter knob got the plum game. We score and he can barely mutter “A goal to Chelsea”. Compare his reaction when West Ham scored as he screams “TEEVVVEEEEZZZZZ!” into the microphone. As if that’s not bad enough, he then went on to blame Frank Lampard for the vile hatred and abuse hurled at him from the Pikey Boys all night long. Yeah, that’s right Mr “Oh so righteous” Tyler, West Ham sack his Dad and his Uncle, in piss-poor circumstances for shite reasons and replace them with “Mr Personality” Glenn Roeder, and Frank’s supposed to smile and carry on as normal. Then a shining knight in the form of Chelsea arrive, offer him a huge pile of cash and the chance to become one of the world’s greatest players and he’s supposed to say no to appease a bunch of brain dead dockers? Tyler, you are a cock!
2. West Ham. Team and fans. Tevez apart, when we scored the second any spirit, any fight and any desire just drained away. We could and should have scored eight and humiliated them in order to close the goal difference on Manchester United. They are a 3D team: demotivated, dispirited and down! One good thing is Southend look likely to be promoted back to League One next season. This removes the potential police headache for the local derbies against West Ham of where to park all those bloody caravans. I suppose it also stops the potential turf wars between the lucky heather sellers as well. And if anyone thinks I’m being hard, these amoeba-brained circus clowns attacked our team bus with bricks. The Championship is too good for their fans.
3. Sky Sports. In the 84th minute a Hapless Hammer invaded the pitch to the usual (yawn) chagrin of cock Tyler. Sky then stubbornly concentrated the camera on the rugged good looks of Tevez for about two minutes, presumably to stop us being offended by the sight of such heinous shenanigans. Listen, Sky, we’re adults! We can see this sort of thing and make up our own mind on the idiot without the heavy hand of your pompous, self-righteous censorship. Do you seriously think fans at home are going to sit there and say to there sons, “That’s the way to behave boy”? The nanny state is alive and well and on your TV.
4. Conceding the goal. Petr Cech is the world’s best, but this was a howler of a goal to let in and worthy of the King of Long-Shot-Bollocks-Up, Paul Robinson himself. I’ll treat it as an aberration, Pete, but just don’t let it happen again.
Keep the blue flag flying high